Mothers Of Sons

May be i am not a competent person to write on this topic, having no son to speak of...but i have watched so many pairs of mothers and sons at close quarters and have the advantage of being an impartial observer..i daresay.. Anyway i am not going to be too essayistic about it...It is just that ,having reared a girl (who Had been an obedient girl)..all our lives me and husband do feel rather shaken after observing some of "em at work...:) and have come to the conclusion that mothers of boys make Brave hearts and make even great philosophers too..

This fact realised on us pretty soon the moment i saw my sister placidly going on with her combing when my husband gave a shout, ran after and brought back Parikshith who was just then precariously bending over the door of a running train---ostensibly to peep at the outside scenery--.. Parikshith was eight,my sister"s second son, and we were returning from our trip to Shirdi,...The train entered the Hyderabad limits and was running through a cemetery when this happened...Husband and i were badly rattled and went rather fussy over the whole thing while his parents---my sister and her husband--- were unruffled..As said earlier, my sister went on to comb her hair and her husband casually remarked that since we were already going through the cemetery,it would not take too much bother if anything untoward happened...




My sister says that unless you adopt that take-it-easy attitude you will not go too far and will end up a nervous wreck if you worried over every small thing the boys did...small thing?.....Yeah...small things...Once Kashyap..(her first son)..chose to go along with the lorries that were taking the ganesh idols to Hussain sagar for immersion and returned home at nine -thirty in the night...He said he saw an acquaintance who invited him to join in the fun....all for a lark..He was eleven or twelve and ofcource forgot to inform parents of his little absence beforehand...When asked how she bore with this, my sister said ofcource she worried but since there was nothing she could do, learned to take it in her stride...

The most tiresome thing,they told me, was the cooking...especially in their growing up years...You boil pots and pots of food and it does not show even an inch on their bodies and they still whine and complain they are not getting enough...You bring home a dozen plantains and they don't last two days...You start making dosais and you have to keep at it till your hands ache.....And..what about the connoisseurs among them,who prefer hotel foods.?.. Once i observed a cousin who was fumbling in her purse and exasperatedly muttering something about "five rupees...always wants five rupees"...Since she was just then sending her son to college i asked her whether he wanted that amount to have tiffin..."NO.."..she said.." i have to pay that to make him eat at home"...I could not stop laughing..Obviously ,in mathri prema, she wanted to give him home-made food and the fellow demands five RS to eat it...


Sons are going to teach you to be philosophical..My sisters and cousins informed me..They open up your eyes to the vagaries and varieties of life...For example,they said,if you have two sons it is almost certain that one will never go out of the house and one can never be found inside the house..In fact one mother told me that she felt like a station master...You have to constantly mount guard over who "s coming and who"s leaving....Again,one son has has troops of friends and one has no more than a few....Once i went to my sister"s house and saw that it was full of Kashyap"s friends lounging,eating,at the system....O.K..that was no surprise...But when i looked around Kash himself was missing...My sis informed me HE was at another friend"s house......




They...the mothers..live in a happy state of perpetual uncertainty...You never know what is going to happen the next minute..Do not even know what to expect at the dinner table..for the son may come in with a bunch of ravenously hungry friends any time and expect you to provide food at short notice...Or he would call up and say he was eating out and you"d better not lock the doors...He may suddenly drop out of a planned trip when you are all done and ready to call for the taxi...I know it happened...Hyma and family were on the verge of calling for a taxi to railway station ---to go to Thirupathi---- and Parikshith announced he could not make it...His friend called just then and said there would be classes...My sister did not bat an eyelid and with the ease of a HR manager passed on instructions.."O.K..take out your clothes from the separate suitcase ---(did she anticipate this?)---Stay at peddamma"s house"....Or he may put a silent bomb under your feet and say he is not liking his job at the moment and thinking of leaving it and yes ..in fact left it...

And all this when you are finally at peace,, thinking of finding a match for him... Yes..I knew a boy who came in with a grave face to complain to his mom one fine day that was just about it...he was fed up with his work, thinking of going for great open spaces and explore the world and the very next day informed her that he was now thinking of getting married to a girl he met online whom he had never seen...I did not know what she exactly said,but i salute the poor mother for having gone through the scares and lived to tell the tale......

The worst part,apparently was refereeing between the warring males of the family...and that includes the bigger boy--the father---Ofcource the sons never lift a finger in the day to day chores..(a norm these days).and usually the man of the house --poor fellow--does it all himself,with or without grumbling...But sometimes a situation comes when the interests clash and the mother becomes the punchbag...yeah....i can already hear voices saying..."she is no punchbag...Always sides with her sons".. I remember the plight of a cousin who had to oscillate between a son who insisted he was ill and needed her attention and her fifty -eight year old hubby who demanded she accompany him on tour...

As my cousin"s son said to his mother who was persuading him to study well and work harder.."it"s no use,.Janaki...Try to spend another hour before God.."...:)


The only little bonus in having sons, I have often observed is that the mothers of sons tend to dress well and neatly ,up to date with fashion......might be because they do not get to be reminded of their age with the presence of younger girls on the scene...I know...as all mothers of girls do too well.....and they do not have to carry baggage in journeys....,.

While this is all in good fun,one word here about the worries of the mothers would not be amiss...I would love to recount an experience of a sister ...She went to her son"s class teacher,concerned about his poor academic performance...The teacher apparently told her "madam,do not get worried..he can cope up anytime...but he is a good fellow and believe me...I "ve seen so many of them..count yourself lucky for that"... I think that about sums up what i want to say...

Another chief worry was about the relationships and the repurcussions that are going to affect them in their most crucial periods and struggling years...I saw a cousin of mine worrying over a possible relationship unfolding with a son of hers and tried to console her...She said she was "nt concerned over whether it comes off or not but was scared it might spoil his education...I mean...the world being as bad as it is, the vulnerable kids would get hurt a great deal more or as much as a girl too...

Let"s hope that no mother"s heart burns and the kids (boys and girls too) do not spoil their golden futures and may they all flourish..